Sunday, November 14, 2010

Wrap Him Up

It's Elton week and for the first time, in a long time, the theme of the week on X Factor stuck to what it was supposed to be. On Twitter later that evening one viewer commented that if you took out the ads and the judges intros (and squabbling) the one and a half hour show was actually only 40 minutes long. The show really could have done with a mentor like Elton but I'm looking forward to his reaction to the show in the press next week. Overall I think Saturday's show could have been a much better with a guest mentor. While I think Elton has been relying on his back catalogue of hits over the past few decades the thing is that he really has some truly wonderful songs. Some of them were sung on Saturday night but as Paul Fizzypop notes there were also missed opportunities. On with the clones: Paije: Paije sang Crocodile Rock and I was kinda singing along but I realised that I couldn't remember the actual name of the song. Dementia at 41! I think that is what Cheryl meant when she didn't know the song but somehow I doubt it. I think it showed the overall lack of interest she has in the theme of the week. Surely she could have listened to one of Elton's best of collections of which Crocodile Rock must have been on most of them. Paije sings the song fine in a West End show way but the dead cat around his neck look at the film premiere freaks me out. I also can't believe the press hadn't picked up on his 3 seconds in a Harry Potter movie connection. Daniel Radcliffe looks terrified as he enters the room to visit them. It's all so rehearsed and depressing! When Paije sings there are white guys in afro wigs and Vera Duckworth backing singers in other words more horribleness from Brian Friedman. All the straight guys wear pink these days but Paije still looks like Liberace and is clearly fuming at the various negative comments he receives from Simon. Zero is a cruel word! Aiden: He's wearing one of Cher's jackets in the VT and one of Dannii's brooches on stage! He sings Rocket Man and I like it even if it is a bit small club in Vegas but that's his entire overall style by now. I thought he might have sung your Song. Dannii is in ultra giddy mood tonight and is almost climbing up on Louis. By next week Simon, judging by the 'time of the month' comment to Louis will be writing into his contract that Louis has to come out on the show. They are more like two panto dames each week. Mary: Tonight's look is a fortune teller with a starfish in her hair. Can you Feel the Love Tonight is nice but the X Factor has to be more than nice. I wonder if the public, especially in the UK are sick to death of Mary's 'I'm lonely for me daughter' and I have a peek on Twitter after the show. Let's just say the Twitter community sometimes are not that kind in their comments. I do think Mary is on the wrong show. She will end up as a lesson to Irish mammies everywhere. Living in London with a bunch of teenagers for a few months + having a daughter who won't fly (unless in private plane with Westlife) or use a ferry = unhappiness. I wondered if she ever entered the All Ireland Talent Show which is v horrific and the nearest Ireland gets to Britain's Got Talent. Katie: She has to be wearing a wig in the VT. No ones hair looks like that in real life. Brian gives her one of Storm's old set pieces. She sounds awful. The Bad Girls cast reunion behind her doesn't help either. Backing singers drown out her a bit. In other words she will be here next week too. Matt: He's wearing a Christmas office party tie but I can't fault his performance of Goodbye yellow Brick Road which I always associate with Candle In The Wind which Rebecca sings later. I realise that Elton really has beautiful songs or maybe Matt is just beautiful... He fecks it up a bit later on Xtra Factor when Konnie asks him who he was blowing a kiss to in the audience and he said 'to everyone....everyone who's female'. Bah! Cher: I hadn't a clue or cared who the rap in the middle of Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word was by and I' certain that Biddy Mulhubbert, 74, in Leeds did either. Dannii wishes she Cher sang more but the thing is Cher can't really sing and I think that's where the rapping and the swagger (in those awful Buck Rogers leggings) has to make an appearance. She looks ill again this week or maybe smug. Wagner: His performances are now post-modern because his 'wife ' (as Paul also notes) from last week gets centre stage which leads to various quips from the judges. It's all scripted you know! It would be great to see Wagner without all of Brian's OTT nonsense and see if the judges still praise him. Wagner clearly has never heard of either of Elton's songs Louis has chosen for him. Then I realise that; that's it! Elton slags off x Factor and an entire night (bar Matt, Rebecca and One Direction) is a piss take of Elton. Genius, Mr Cowell! Louis's comment that Wagner reminds him of a 'young Elton John' is the most poisoned dart of the night! One Direction: Unless Wagner's anti X Factor voters fecks it all up they are going to win the series. Tonight was their 'boybands have number one hits with ballads too' night. Niall is up front of camera again like he's watching a football match in the local pub. They all have signature hair. If there were just 5 wigs on stage you would know who was who. Rebecca: The people's Princess! She has a hat made of hair but looks so elegant. She always looks so well dressed in the VT and of all of the contestants she is the one who would spend her riches the wisest. Some day judges on shows like this will not have to say that singers like Rebecca are inspirations to single mothers everywhere. There are 1000's of single mothers and not all have to go on an ITV show to prove their worth. There are single fathers too! Simon says she has made the song 'relevant' but a song like Candle In The Wind was always a classic without Simon's blessing. The best: Matt, One Direction, Rebecca Still there next week: Aiden , Cher, Mary, Wagner Taxi stage left: Paije or Katie To conclude, Kate sings Elton.
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